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DEPRESSION
ANXIETY
AND PTSD
I have been trying to recover from my childhood for about
ten years now. I suffer from major deppression, anxiety,
and post traumatic stress syndrome. I aquired these
illness' through a series of traumatic events at a very
youg age. I could not even recall my childhood at all
until about six years ago, I am now 34. I knew that life
had not been easy but I really had no idea of the horrors
that came back to my concious mind in the for of
nightmares and flashbacks. I thought I was going crazy!
That would have been the easy way out.
The reality was that the love of my mother's life had
been a pedophile and had molested my sister and I, unttil
he die suddenly. Also that not only is my mother an
alcoholic but also had conttributed to the abuse in her
own fashion by ignoring some very obvious signs. Seeing
my mother try to kill herself over the loss of this man
was just another blow to my fragile sanity. All this in
the first ten years of life.
So of course my mother then marries an alcholic(who else
would have her?) I would just like to say at this point
that I am only telling this story so that you the reader
might better understand the causes of PTSD outside of war
or natural dissasters. Anyway he was not a completely
evil man but he sure loved his whiskey as much as mom
loves her vodka. Yes you guessed it there was a lot of
fighting. Meanwhile my mother is becoming more and more
perverted. Well I just can't even go there. All I can say
is that even though we had food clothing and shelter,
life just wasn't worth the hassle and I had no idea it
could be otherwise.
I still jump at loud noises, cringe when someone raises a
hand any where near me and suffer daily the effects of
all this. I think the most painful thing is that my own
mother somone that I should love and be close to doesn't
seem to have any sort of human decency behind her still
foggy eyes. I have finally taken the steps neccessary to
remove her completely from my life, the abuse never did
end she never got better and she left me no choice. The
only way for me to teach my daughters to be strong and
also loving is for me to love myself enough to escape my
mothers abusive relationship. And I don't feel even the
tinyest bit of guilt but only releif!
HERE ARE SOME HELPFUL LINKS
Ben
Armstrong -- Abuse Recovery Resources
Impact
Of Child Sexual Abuse
Welcome
to NotVictims!
Internet
Mental Health Resources
http://www.woodburybydesign.com/award.html
PTSD
http://www.ptsd.com/
SOSA
PTSD Message Board
http://www.estss.demon.co.uk/
Post-Trauma
Treatment Associates
Behavioral
Medicine Associates, Inc. Homepage
Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder - Panic/Anxiety Disorders Net Links
Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
<b>LET'S
TALK PTSD</b>
http://www.cmhc.com/guide/trauma.htm
Index
for PTSD Web page
http://www.patiencepress.com/
PTSD-nightmares,flashbacks,fears
Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder
Anxiety,
Panic, and PTSD Resources - Mental Health Resources Net
Links
Holistic
Health Forum PTSD
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